Originally published: February 26, 2009
Last updated: February 26, 2009 - 10:54pm
On Thursday, the United States Senate unearthed the remains of a horse that was killed in 1987. The status of the horse was debated.
What's wrong with it? I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it! No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting. Look, matey, I know a dead horse when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now. No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! It's stone dead. Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting! All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call! Now that's what I call a dead parrot. No, no.....No, 'e's stunned! STUNNED?!? Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Horses stun easily, major. Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That horse is definitely deceased. He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
After the debate, the carcass was summarily killed again -- pending approval from the House and the President.
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