Can you hear me now? Of course; I'm on a land line

[Commentary] Why am I suddenly nostalgic for my maligned, nearly obsolete land-line telephone, and why do I so often prefer it, when I'm here at home, to my newer, cooler gadget? My smartphone isn't always smart. When it comes to an effortless, nearly foolproof, reliable, high-quality device, I have a soft spot for my land line. The reason is simple: If I'm talking to you from my land line and you're on your land line, I can actually hear you. Perfectly. If we're both on our cells, chances are good that we're in for some frustrations, even in 2010. If voice communication had been invented after e-mail and texting, we would have seen it as the grandest scientific advance since hair gel and HBO. We'd be chatting on the phone 24 hours a day. But in the weird way that the human mind works, newer is better. Texting is better than talking. Problematic connections are more desirable than reliable ones. Complaining about an indecipherable cell call brands you as someone who listens to Perry Como on vinyl. The woes of Bluetooth trump the boring predictability of a corded phone. Bluetooth is ugly and frustrating; no wonder everyone likes it. Bluetooth alone has done more to destroy civil discourse than cable news and talk radio put together. My land line and I may only have a few years left, so I intend to make the most of them. If you have a land line too, give me a call.

[Randall is the deputy editor of Playboy]