Knock, Knock. Who's There? Ajit Pai

At the Federal Communications Bar Association's annual Chairman's Dinner, Federal Communications Commission Chairman Ajit Pai delivered a solid set of inside jokes. 

• Noting a Philadelphia Inquirer headline that said retiring Comcast senior EVP David Cohen was being replaced by six people, Chairman Pai said that the FCC knows that it only takes five people (as in the five commissioners) to do the work of David Cohen. 
• Noting a headline about his decision to free up  for 5G some spectrum in the 5.9 Ghz band -- currently licensed for vehicle-to-vehicle communications but mostly lying fallow -- as his attempt to take away spectrum used for transportation. "Used?" he mused quizzically, explaining that was like saying a treadmill was being used because that was where you hung your clothes. 
• As to Twitter's decision not to accept political ads, Chairman Pai said National Association of Broadcasters President Gordon Smith urged all his industry's competitors to do the same. 
• Chairman Pai talked about his lunch with President Trump a couple of months ago and how some were suggesting Trump was influencing policy. Chairman Pai said that was not true, but, on another subject, said that all the proceeds from the C-band auction would be going to purchase Greenland. 
• The chairman was interrupted by a phone call that appeared to be coming from Rudy Giuliani. Chairman Pai tried returning the call but got a robotic voice informing him that the call was being placed on Dish Cellular so the call "couldn't be completed as dialed... or really at all." 
• He said AT&T has a new lobbying strategy: If anyone opposes their petitions, AT&T will send their phone records to Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA). 
• The chairman said the 5G hype machine was out of control and that they had to be careful that it did not become the most overrated G since Kenny. 
• The election is heating up, he said, but pointed out that former chairman Tom Wheeler had done three minutes of Trump jokes at the dinner in 2016: "You know how that turned out for Tom."