Two-timing Netflix will speed the downfall -- and rebirth -- of a free Internet

[Commentary] No sooner do I -- along with 99.9 percent of the other tech pundits on the planet -- mildly tweak Netflix's nose about its deal with Comcast, it does it with Verizon.

Part of me wants to hear Netflix justify this move, considering all the criticism it's generated, but part of me wants to tune it out, lest my brain feel like it's undergoing a bikini wax as those words enter my head. However, I remain optimistic. Because these deals are verging on the Dr Evil-style malevolence the Federal Communications Commission is waiting for.

If we all suffer through enough of this crap with some near-future content consequences, the Avenging Angel that is FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler will reach into his dungarees, locate his backbone, down a Xanax smoothie, and fight the good fight against an ignorant legislative political engine, even if that engine is being continuously showered with money -- er, entirely legitimate campaign funding by superslick pro-fast-lane lobbyists.

When Chairman Wheeler crushes that opposition, he'll turn pipe provisioning into a tightly regulated public service. That'll slow down our infrastructure upgrading process, since pipe providers would be able to rob us of only a few billion rather than a gut-wrenching, degenerately greedy pile of billions, and we'll have our content-neutral Internet back. Then maybe the Zuck will get bored with "Batman" comics and deploy a neutral, super-high-speed wireless drone network to impress his bros online. Here's hoping.