The Internet .Sucks

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[Commentary] The US government wants to relinquish control of the Web. But the alternative really dot-sucks. Going back almost to the days when Al Gore invented the Internet, the federal government has been in charge of online addresses through its contract with the California-based nonprofit the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN). Now, responding to growing international complaints because of the Edward Snowden affair, the feds are extricating themselves from this Series of Tubes. But, as is usually the case with deregulation, installing private-sector foxes as guards of public-good henhouses can get messy. Thus did a House Judiciary subcommittee find itself holding a hearing May 13th on “The .Sucks Domain.”

The whole concept seemed to trouble Rep Blake Farenthold (R-TX). “If I have to register blake.com, blake.net, blake.org, blake.biz, blake.us, blake sucks, you know, where does it stop?” he asked, arguing that it was essentially “extorting companies to register potentially thousands of variations of their domain names." House Judiciary Subcommittee Chairman Darrell Issa (R-CA) worried aloud that businesses would have to buy thousands of sites to protect themselves, including “dot-saugt,” German for “dot-sucks.” “I have no idea what it would be in Italian, in Chinese,” he added, aghast that destructive domain names might proliferate “simply to gain more money.” That’s what happens when the government gives the free-market free rein, Mr. Chairman. Now, how much are you going to pay me for darrellissasucks.org?


The Internet .Sucks